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Repost: Foundations

5/15/2017

 
Beloved brothers and sisters, I know this post by my beautiful beloved wife and Queen will bless you if you are a parent. I hope the nuggets  in her post will equip and empower you. Parenting is not for the faint-hearted and requires all the help available. We create lasting legacies in our communities, by sharing and passing along to the next generation a roadmap. God Bless you!

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Howdy Friends!
 
 The month of May is flying by so fast! Thank you for all the birthday greetings. I received all your wonderful messages and grateful for each one of you. To all my fellow May celebrants- happy birthday blessings! I enjoyed a well-pampered day of relaxation and fun. Thank you Honey- I love you and honored we get to journey this life together. Yesterday we celebrated Mother’s Day. Mothers you are the super glue of your homes.  Who you are and what you do tirelessly is amazing! I hope you were well celebrated, because you deserve to be every single day. I am grateful and honored to be a mother of three awesome beautiful daughters!  My husband and I have been fortunate to be their parents.  We are in a season of witnessing each one of them blossom in their destinies. They have made our calling as parents very satisfying and we are proud and grateful. Like any relationship, parenting demands intentionality and is very rewarding. It's been said that grand-parenting are the best. For now, we enjoy the empty nest years with the grand-parenting years in the future. 

So much to share with you from my last post. We are now on location number nine on the Texas citywide trainings for librarians and adult literacy providers. I have enjoyed getting to meet people across the state and equipping them in building impactful partnerships. On the family front we have been super active in transitions. Our adult daughters now; 26, 24 and 22 are soaring in their unique destinies. Our oldest daughter just graduated this past Saturday with her second Masters in Information Science from UNT. She is getting ready for her big move to New York City to begin the new chapter in her dream place in the IT industry.  We are excited for her. Our middle global medical student is rounding up in final exams as she begins clinical years.  She has been fortunate to have some amazing people all around her as she grows in her destiny in the medical field. We are thrilled for all that is ahead for her.  We just settled our youngest daughter in Silicon Valley where she is now based using her engineering expertise on the incredible Facebook giant. It’s her dream place to be and we are elated for her. It is true that when you make it through the hard parenting years, you get to be friends with your adult children in later years. We are enjoying sweet friendships with each of them and together as a family. It's now official, we literally have children in different parts of the world. 
A dear friend said that means, we have more vacation places to visit. 
 
Some of my mentees had asked I share some nuggets on parenting. Some of these amazing women have young children in elementary and middle school while others have teenage children in high school and college. With Mother’s Day just celebrated and Father’s Day on the horizon, felt this would be the most appropriate time to share this post and it is relevant for both home and school.  I share these nuggets as wisdom gained reflecting on our years of parenting our daughters. Because parenting is hard work, it is best done in community and never a solo endeavor. So, here are 2 major lessons that can either make or break parenting. These two lessons are foundational blocks for thriving adulthood.  Similar to the foundation of a house, these lessons provide a solid frame to build upon for later years.
 
1. Unconditional Love. What does this look like in your parenting? It means you will never set a condition for loving, nurturing, affirming and caring for your children. No matter what the cultural background maybe, true love should never be conditional.  No one should ever earn love or prove it.  Unconditional love is about loving who you are as a person and has nothing to do with what you do. Love is given and received. Setting this foundation at an early age is vital to nurturing a well-adjusted and confident adult.
 
2.  Consistency. What does this look like in parenting? It means you will respond to your child’s behavior (good or bad) the same way all the time. It means, no matter what is going on in your sphere or how you may be feeling at the time, your response will be the same. Limits will be tested, so be ready for the appropriate response. Once you set the tone of your response, reinforcement will be what you work on as situations arise.  Be careful not to mistake your response and giving consistent attention to every move your child makes. You need balance. Whether you praise your child or discipline them be consistent in your approach and response. 
 
My husband and I were fortunate to have a village and committed community of family and friends during our parenting years. Many of our longtime friendships were developed during these times. If you are new to your area, take time to find your support system. Once you find your tribe you all will know you are meant to be a community of support for each other. Remember, while in the trenches of parenting, friendship is not your goal. Building a solid foundation is your goal.  The friendship part is for later years and not before. I believe in you and your capability to set strong foundations for a thriving future for your child (ren). Cheering you on in your parenting journey! Love & Blessings!!

   "Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life" - Proverbs 22:5 (GNT)
 

 


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     Dr. Johnson Obamehinti

    A Blog for Empowering and Restoring the body of Christ with Biblical truth and principles for living the victorious life in Jesus Christ. Son of the King, Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Friend, Mentor, & Leader.Oasis Focus Inc. is a ministry of restoration & equipping. 

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